When G-d opens a window he closes a door

I have some good news and I have some really really bad news.

I was given a position at a law firm and am taking the offer. This is a huge step for me and the best I can make right now. I am studying for the LSAT in December and am extremely excited to make this change. I have always wanted to be a lawyer; I remember as a child going to my dad's mock trial classes when he taught at Cor Jesu. This firm is amazing, Garnholz and Ricci, and full of powerful women who I'm sure will change my life. Lynn Ricci was my college professor who I greatly admired and I am honored to be working for her.

I also begin using Brian Jensen as my coach on Oct. 1st. This is another important part of my life. I am finally taking racing seriously and know that I am in good hands. I enjoy having a training schedule because I can see my progress (or lack thereof) and track it.

The bad news - my brother has refused treatment and is somewhere in St. Louis with a dead cell phone and maybe a few pairs of pants-no car, no money. This is the first time I have really discussed any of this to more than 3 people, and the reason for that is because I don't have the energy to say it. I have so many thoughts and feelings I could burst, but bringing them out of me is too exhausting. I still haven't cried, haven't punched a wall, maybe drove my scooter a bit too fast in the park or hammered too hard up a hill on my bicycle, but really haven't expressed my true feelings. I guess I'm just waiting for it to finally happen and am not forcing the emotions out of me.

I also don't have too many people to talk to. I can, of course, talk to my parents but they are exhausted as well. My Danaesy listens well and understands, and some other friends sort of understand...but really I'm wondering if I should go back to the psychologist my family has been going to. I really don't want to fork out any money over something I didn't cause...but am wondering just how long I can last feeling like this. Any ideas?

Song of the week - "Talk Show Host" by Radiohead. iTunes it if you don't know it.

I left my heart in Iowa City

I received a long-awaited email from Lindsay's boyfriend David this week. He told me that the Don't Quit Your Day Job plaid kits are available! I first spotted these kits when visiting Lindsay in Iowa and ever since have wanted a set. Here is the link to the images: http://www.flickr.com/photos/helpingfriendlybook/104300427/. SWEET! Thanks David!



I met the Discovery Team. Yep. Wow, what a well-rounded group of guys. They all have very different personalities that seem to mesh really well off and on the road. Tony Cruz made the biggest impression on me. I can still remember this tan California dude telling me in his best fake hick accent, the story about the 3 males in suspenders leaning against their pick-up truck in middle Missouri. As the peloton rode by the men, the men (leaning against the truck with their hands in their belts) muttered "faggots" to the racers as they rode by. Little did they know who these men really were...

I've been riding my bike like a rock star. I feel great on the bike and am glad I didn't completely crash now that racing season is over for 2007. Brian Jensen will start coaching me in October (now called Biketober), so that will be exciting. I decided to get a coach because I truly have no idea how to train. And if I want to get stronger and smarter, that's the best choice to make. I am stoked!

Long, Long Time

I was sitting at my computer returning emails and decided to play some music from my iPhone. I turned on Erin Bode and realized I hadn't checked her website in awhile. I visited her site and saw a rather interesting news blurb on the front page. It read:

"Erin Bode Group Legal Support Fund
Erin writes, 'I am sad to tell you that the future of the Erin Bode Group is in jeopardy. We have added a link for contributions to our legal support fund. As soon as I am allowed to give you more details, I will. Until then, if you care to help today you can use the link below to donate. Any amount will be greatly appreciated.'"

No one can find any further explanations of her legal difficulties; even STL Jazz Notes wrote about the vagueness of the situation:
STL Jazz Notes

Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that this woman is incredibly talented and would be greatly missed if she was unable to perform anymore. I hope this all clears up so she can focus on her career.

Gateway Cup and such

This past weekend was a blast, and went by too quickly. I raced Gateway Cup for my 3rd year and it was definitely the fastest year yet. A few Pro Women came into town to race and that picked up the pace, as well as the field being quite large and perfect for numerous attacks and breakaways (one in which I failed to bridge up). I placed an exhausted 19th and 15th the first 2 days (add continuous lack of sleep and full day of work onto those days as well), but came back strong the next 2. I didn't place on the 3rd day because I got a flat with one lap to go, but held out for 11th on the last day. That race hurt so badly, but I dug it out for the field sprint. All in all, I loved racing with the women and had such a blast before, during, and after the races.

I was also approached by a team who wants me to join, and am talking to another team about potential spots as well. THIS was my goal. I wasn't too particular about where I placed, but more focused on doing well enough to grab some teammates. As some of you already know, or have already read, I want to go pro and need to get on the right team to get me there. I've already decided which team I want to go with, it's now time to see if it can happen. More on this as it progresses...

Not much is going on this week for me. I'm done racing until the 22nd and will catch up on sleep and the usual household chores. My best friend Mindi stayed with me and helped clean my place while I was working...but I still have more work to do:)

Oh, and I got a new phone number (and phone). If you did not receive my text about it, call my old number and I have the new number listed in my voicemail response message.

Sleep, bike, food!